It is too hard to change the settings on my LJ, so I am just going to copy and paste all my posts dealing with my magical practices into this blog.
LILITH RITES JULY. 24th, 2005
I’m in the process of writing another version of the Lilith
rite that was performed last year with members of the Lilim e-group. The
original version of this rite consisted of a series of solo-sex acts performed
by four Demon Queen Priest/esses as invocations of four aspects of Lilith. A
fifth Priestess opened the circle, called the Demon Queens and assisted in the
invocations by leading the other participants in the accompanying chants and
spells.
The circle casting and the chants were based on a ritual
circle casting which had been written and transcribed into Sumerian words and
phrases by ..... (didn't get around to asking if it was ok to post your name,
so I won't just yet). The ritual was preceded by a ritual induction through the
four elements which was developed by the five principle ritualists. After the
invocations the other participants were invited to engage with their own
interpretations of the Lilith energy by participating in (mutually) consensual
erotic activities, to whatever degree they felt comfortable with.
The general intent of the ritual was to be an erotic
invocation of Lilith energies in which the participants could explore their
relationship with Lilith and with their own erotic potential. Participants also
had the space to incorporate their own ritual intent into the experience if
they wished.
I have to admit that although I found conceiving and writing
the sexual elements of the rite to be a huge turn on, I personally did not find
the ritual itself very erotic. I think the ritual disappointed a lot of the
participants, because it didn’t live up to their expectations, the energy
certainly turned out to be quite different from what I expected! Still I try to
put aside expectations when I go into ritual, and experience the rite for what
it is, not what I want it to be, and regardless of the way I experienced the
ritual, it certainly answered the question I asked of it.
Over the last seven or eight years I have found myself
involved in a lot of group work, with covens of six to twelve people, ad hoc
groups up the twenty people, and of course the eighty or so people who attend
the EUPHORIA gathering, even so I have often preferred to practice magick by
myself, or with just one other person. After the Lilith rite I found that my
desire to participate in group rituals, particularly erotically oriented group
rites had virtually disappeared. My feelings about group rites are starting to
shift now and I am once more enjoying group magick; I’m even starting to look
forward to next EUPHORIA! However, I am still not really interested in
participating in erotic rituals with large groups, or with people that I do not
have strong feelings for. Funny thing though I still think about it.
My interest in writing sex magick rituals has definitely
started to rekindle, which is why I have begun re-writing the Lilith rite.
There will be more interaction between the principals, and more involvement of
the other participants, at least in some versions of the rite. I’ll probably
write a couple of interpretations of the rite: one will be for five or six
people, another for the five or six principle ritualists and one or two dozen
participant ritualists, and another as ritual theatre, i.e. principle
ritualists and audience. I might even write a two person version. I’m pretty
sure I could find enough people willing to participate in any of the versions
that might be performed, and if not I’ll still have a lot of fun writing them
all. What the hell, I think I’ll write a solo version too!
RITUAL. NOVEMEBR. 8th, 2005
We turn to face the quarter of the water element. With our
bodies and our voices and our hearts we call to elemental water, opening
ourselves to its resonance, opening ourselves to the qualities of water, daring
to open to loves flow.
We turn to face the quarter of the fire element. With our
bodies and our voices and our hearts we call to elemental fire, opening
ourselves to its resonance, opening ourselves to the qualities of fire, stoking
the burning fire of the magical will.
We turn to face the quarter of the air element. With our
bodies and our voices and our hearts we call to elemental air, opening
ourselves to its resonance, opening ourselves to the qualities of air, knowing
the inrushing breath of inspiration.
We turned to the earth once more, sealing the circle and
balancing the elements, acknowledging and connecting with the earth below, with
the sky above, with the divine within ourselves and within each other.
We turn once more to face each other breathing slowly,
deeply, deliberately as we look into each other’s eyes. Our breath becomes one
and the world fades as energy flows between us. She reaches into the core of my
being and caresses the fire within, her breath flows into me, filling my lungs
as her energy flows over and through my skin filling my body, filling my mind,
filling my aura. And I feel my own energy entering her, caressing her body,
reaching deep within, touching her innermost being as we breathe and dissolve
and become something so much more than one.
Waves of loving energy wash over me and through me. I reach
out and lightly brush her face, her lips, her ears, her eye lids and her hair,
and as I do so my body shudders with passion. I look into her eyes and sink
into their depths. She reaches out and runs silken fingers flashing energy
through my hair down my shoulders and along my arms. Waves of energy flow
through me, from the earth, from the sky, from her hands and from her eyes, and
each wave of energy each breath of life, each shuddering sigh sees itself
reflected in her breath, her sighs and in the trembling of her body.
Her fingers trace a line across my chest and I feel my heart
open, pouring out its flood, washing through me and over me and from me in a
rushing tide of love. I spread wide my arms and offer my heart. My hands reach
out tracing lines from the palms of her hand up her arms, to the curve of her
breasts, she shudders and sighs and in the soft sound of her breath I hear my
own ecstasy reflected. My gaze falls upon her face, her breasts, her arms and
stomach and I am filled with desire, she brushes my skin with her hands and
desire is fulfilled, her eyes flutter, a soft sign escapes her lips and desire
fills me once more. Each sight, each sound, each touch that she gives and
receives, causes my body, my heart and my soul to cry and sing and vibrate with
her resonance. She is my communion. She is my Goddess.
GOETIC MAGICK. MAY. 10th, 2006
I’ve been doing some experimentation with Goetic sorcery
recently and I have to admit that it hasn’t been all that successful so far,
except that I have succeeded in learning a few ways of doing it that don’t feel
right for me! I’ve always been a bit iffy about this sort of magick. Its not
that I have a problem with demons (I’ve done plenty of work with my own), but I
prefer to do invocations; the format of the Solomonic style evocation rituals
has always concerned me…
It seems to me that in this system you build a metaphysical
fortress (the circle), then use the authority of a deity to force an entity
into the triangle and order it to satisfy your desires! Now I have no problem
with satisfying desires, but this process disturbs me. It feels like the magician
is trying to harness the demonic energies (whatever they are) to satisfy
desires, without actually owning the desire. Also whatever demons are I reckon
that in some way they mirror aspects of ourselves. Putting the thing in a
triangle outside the circle seems to me to be a denial of this, while at the
same time expecting this disowned aspect to still satisfy ones desires. It
seems to me that a lot of the problems that people have are directly related to
unconscious denial/desire interactions, so it seems kind of dumb to me to set
up them up deliberately! I suppose you could say that evoking the demon is
bringing it into consciousness, but I still reckon that hiding behind a wall
(circle) and confining it to a triangle sends a pretty strong message of fear
and denial.
When I have worked with my personal demons I have just
invoked them, both as aspects of the self and as independent entities and then
interacted with them in whatever way seemed appropriate. A lot of people (all
of them that I know of) reckon its not safe to do this with the Goetic Demons,
but then again some of the spirits I have worked with have equally bad
reputations! Maybe I should have a chat with Baphomet and Hekate and see what
they reckon!
We stand facing each other and begin to breathe slowly and
deeply. We look into each other’s eyes and feel the connection between us. We
breathe and focus on the divine within, we breathe and feel our connection with
the earth beneath us, we breathe and feel our connection to the sky above. .
We turn to face the quarter of the earth element. With our
bodies and our voices and our hearts we call to elemental earth, opening
ourselves to its resonance, opening ourselves to the qualities of earth,
feeling its dark material silence within ourselves.
STREGA. JUNE.
27th, 2006
Some of you may know that Seline hosted a Strega Ritual this
weekend at a well appointed recreational camp on the outskirts of Melbourne.
Seline created the ritual based on Italian folk lore and magick and her family
magical tradition, the Aradia material of Leyland, Neopagan practices and even
some Raven Grimassi stuff. Therefore although the ritual could not be called
traditional or ancient it was created from traditional as well as contemporary
elements, and it was certainly very Italian in flavour.
About forty of us gathered for the event which began with
the preparations for the evening meal. I couldn’t get away from work, so by the
time I got there the meal was finished and Seline was just wrapping up the
introductory talk. Then Seline showed us how to do the Tarantella (a
traditional Italian folk dance) and the music and dancing started, those who
were not dancing, or were resting between sets sat and talked in the
comfortably warm common room. The dancing finished relatively early, probably
because everyone was tired from the work week and/or saving themselves for the
ritual on Saturday night. However a few of us sat up chatting ‘til about four
in the morning before heading off to bed.
The next day was spent dancing, talking and having fun while
we all helped prepare the days food, and what wonderful food it was: Delicious
anti pasto, salamis, cheeses, salads, crusty bread and vino for lunch. For the
evening meal there was gnocchi, sauces (including one called salsa del
Diablo!), more salads, roast chicken and more, but that was as far as I got,
being still somewhat sated from lunch!
Once all the food was prepared we relaxed until it was time
for the rite. It was an amazing experience to hear Aradia and the other deities
invoked in Italian, and to hear their Priests and Priestesses reply in the same
tongue! And even though I couldn’t understand the words, the meaning was clear
– partly from Seline’s explanatory workshop, partly from the occasional recognizable
word, but mostly from the emotion and intent of the Priestesses and Priests,
who inspired us to loose ourselves in the unfamiliar chants and dances. After
raising power we all had the opportunity to throw our spells into the flaming
cauldron to send them off on waves of flame and energy. There were cheers and
tears of joy and release as we did so. And then with more shouts and cheers the
Tarantella began. We danced and laughed with abandon – some of the dancing
(mine in particular!) looked more like a frog in a blender than anything else,
but everyone was enjoying themselves far too much to care! Many of us were so
into the dancing that we had to be called three times to the feast! Those of
you who have seen Pagans fall upon their food at a gathering will know how
unusual that is!!
I had to leave relatively early to go to work the next day,
but on Monday I spoke to a few of those who stayed, their legs and sleep
deprived bodies were still recovering from the revelry! It was a great weekend,
great food, great ritual, but most of all great company! I’m sure we will be
doing more of this sort of thing in the future.
MAGICK AND SEX AUGUST. 23rd, 2006
OK so some of the people reading this will already know a
lot of it, but I have chosen to write it down to help me think about it, so
here goes.
Since 1999 I have written, or made major contributions to 4
large group rituals, 3 of these had a very strong erotic orientation. During
the same period I’ve also done heaps of coven rites, many solo rites, and quite
a few duo rites.
Most of the coven rites followed a standard format that we
developed and evolved over time, the actual substance of the rites changed to
suit the requirements of the situation. There was little or no overt eroticism
in most if not all of these rites.
Most of the duo rites followed a similar format, but were
even less structured, and contained a higher level of overtly erotic energy,
but little or no physical sexual elements. Sheil and I have done a little sex
magick, but our magical styles are so different that these instances have been
fairly infrequent. On the other hand though there is a high degree of magical
compatibility and erotic charge between S and I, we have never been sexually
intimate.
The solo rites were the least structured and most likely of
all the rites (except for 3 of the 4 major rites I have done) to have an erotic
content.
Obviously eroticism has had a significant influence on the
way in which I structure and experience magick. Equally obvious to me is the
fact that the less people involved the more likely I am to indulge in (and
enjoy) eroto-magical practices.
This might seem odd when it is noted that the most erotic
and sexual rites (in quantity at any rate) that I have been involved in have
been 3 of the 4 major rites I have facilitated. But the truth is that I have
experienced very little satisfaction from these rites– other than the joy of
achievement at seeing these relatively complex rites happening and being
enjoyed by others.
I began to sense how magically unsatisfying these rites were
for me after the presentation of the ‘Baphomet’ rite at Euphoria 2004. The
first two presentations of this rite, at PSG 1999 and at the inaugural Euphoria
festival in 2000 were highly satisfying for me, interestingly these were the
only 2 performances were there was no public sexual activity during, or
immediately after the rite. After 2000 the eroticism portrayed in the ritual
and the sexual activity engaged in by the participants steadily rose. Not only
was there an increase in the erotic elements of the ‘Baphomet’ rite, but in
2003 I introduced a new rite which was designed to be at least as overtly
erotic in its presentation, as was ‘Baphomet’, this was the ‘Cauldron of
Transformation’ rite. In 2004 we repeated the ‘Cauldron of Transformation’ with
some changes that made it even more erotic. The increased level of the erotic
charge of the ‘Cauldron’ rite (though there may have been other reasons),
seemed to result in a corresponding decrease in the ‘Baphomet’ energy level! I
was not particularly disappointed by this, even though up to this point I had
been trying to increase the erotic charge of the rites each year. I had at some
stage begun to realize that contrary to my expectations the increase in
eroticism was not encouraging any corresponding increase in my level of magical
trance! That is not to say that other participants felt the same way that I
did.
Since 2004 I have presented the ‘Cauldron’ rite at a smaller
gathering of about 30 people, this rite was more intimate than the Euphoria
performances, and at the same time less overtly erotic. I felt that for me
there was a increase in my satisfaction at this rite, that was proportional to
the drop in eroticism! This was not altogether a surprise to me.
In 2005 we staged ‘Baphomet’ again, however, I relinquished
my role as priest for this presentation, and attended merely as a participant.
There were still erotic elements in the rite, and there were still people
having sex in the circle, but for me the awareness of the erotic element was
virtually nil. Other than the first 2 performances of the ‘Baphomet’ rite, it
was the most enjoyable experience of this rite that I have experienced!
Between Euphoria 2004 and 2005 I wrote (except for the
circle casting) and participated in the most overtly sexual group ritual I have
yet devised. The rite was dedicated to Lilith, and part of the aim of the rite
for me was to allow myself to find (or create?) my most empowering relationship
with my own eroticism, and to get some clarity on the subject of group erotic
magick. The upshot of that ritual was that I decided that I really need to have
a strong loving relationship with someone before I am interested in being
sexual with them. I also went off all group ritual for a fair while.
But nothing remains static. After Euphoria 2005 I was
involved in another group rite, this time however there was no eroticism
written into the rite at all. The ritual was rewarding and illuminating for me,
and even though the rite did not go as deeply into trance (as a group or for me
personally) as I had hoped it might, I learned quite a bit about trance from
the experience. However, something else almost as informative happened that
weekend.
Whilst showering in preparation for the rite, I heard two
people talking in the shower next to me, I joined the conversation and they
invited me to join them in their shower, so I did. We then proceeded to talk,
joke and soap each other up. It was an obviously erotic experience, and yet it
was almost completely non-sexual, there was just a feeling of playfulness, and
innocence and lack of expectation that was extremely enjoyable and liberating.
And now I am thinking that I would like to experience some more of that sort of
thing in an deliberately magical, sacred and ritual context. I’m sure it could
be done, and I’m working on some ideas.
EUPHORIA OBSCURA? DECEMBER. 19th, 2006
I was speaking to someone the other day about Euphoria. They
mentioned that they had referred pagan friends to the website -
www.euphoriapagan.org - and these friends apparently just didn't get the point
of it. Weren't shocked, or affronted, or scandalised, just didn't understand
what it was all about. Given that Euphoria 2006 was cancelled due to low
bookings, and bookings are looking low again this year, I'm wondering if all
the info we've put on the web site has just served to obscure our purpose, rather
than explain it. Or maybe the purpose has always been obscure, and it was just
all the hype about it, combined with the large numbers of new pagans looking
for anything to satisfy their craving for knowledge and experienced that
allowed Euphoria to book out so quickly in spite of peoples relative ignorance
about what to expect. I never thought that Euphoria was a festival that was
suited to everyone, but I dunno, are those of us who attend Euphoria year after
year too close to the event to see how far removed it is from what most pagans
need and desire? Is paganism in Australia too conservative to support an event
like Euphoria, are the aims of Euphoria too obscure or too extreme for most
people, or is there just too much to choose from, or is it something else?
HEKATE/BAPHOMET/MAGICK FEBRUARY. 24th, 2007
I had a great time at the ritual we did on Friday night,
great to be with people who are focused on the good stuff! Made me realize what
a waste of time it is engaging with Trolls, unfortunately sometimes we have to,
but for the moment I am just locking my posts and only allowing comments from
friends, and I deleted the previous 2 posts 'cause I am sick of seeing them. So
there!!
Anyhow, back to the ritual:
Hot room, chanting, moving, calling the Gods, the energy is
chaotic, disconnected, almost uncomfortable, I wonder what I am doing, what we
are all doing, then it changes consciousness begins to flow, the real becomes
unreal and the inner world awakens and takes me into its embrace. I feel open,
warm, giving, excited and content.
Then there is someone before me, we run our hands over each
other, each touch, given and received sends a thrill of energy through me.
Sweat pours from our bodies, as legs, arms, torso's and faces touch, embrace,
caress and kiss. I feel like I am being turned inside out and back again,
making love to the universe as we tease each other, areas of skin touching and
moving towards and away.
Has someone lit the cauldron? I recall its intense heat, the
flames rising and falling as we dance around it, but when? Before or after,
does it matter?
Now the Goddess wears a different body, she stands before me,
and is wild, bestial, almost angry, yet inviting, sensual and sweet, we devour
each others energy then return it multiplied. I drink her in and she me, my
heart is filled with her and yearns for more! Her touch, her scent, the
softness of her skin, magick, magick, magick!
Now a god and I embrace and kiss, he caresses me, I begin to
slap my palms against my chest, and he joins in, beating sharply but lightly
upon my skin, up and down, front and back, until we are both roaring and
shouting with glee.
Is this when the fire was lit? Dancing around and around,
the flames respond to us and begin to swirl and snake and writhe within the
cauldron.
There is more, is this when bodies and hands collide, is
this when she enchants me with her magick? I can't tell, time and memory flow
together, as the wine in the chalice flows from cup to mouth around the circle,
more embraces more love, more magick. And the cone of power twisting the flame
in the cauldron rises again and again, carrying our wishes into the world.
Finally I drink of pure cold water and perception begins to return to consensus
reality, or does it?
EUPHORIA AND AFTER APRIL. 24th, 2007
Euphoria was a different experience for me this year. I went
quite deeply into trance at each ritual, while the days were fairly laid back,
in fact I often felt more like an attendee than an organiser. This meant that a
few things that should or could have happened, didn’t, but overall I think the
event went fairly well. Some stuff came up for me before during and after The
Baphomet Rite that caused me tears, but they were healing ones, and I gained
quite a few insights into some of my life patterns. After Euphoria I received a
‘Crystal Dreaming’ session from a friend, it was an interesting experience and
more stuff came up, including some past life memories! I don’t really believe
in past life stuff (don’t dis-believe either), so it was interesting to see
what came through, I gained more insight into some of my patterns. The really
interesting thing for me though, was that afterwards, while talking to S I
started having more recalls, these were so intense that I experienced strong
physical and emotional symptoms associated with what I was remembering. I also
spoke to Sheil about this and similar things happened again. Whatever paradigm
is used to explain this, I feel that the intensity of the experiences and the
nature of the revelations were significant!
SENSORY SYNESTHESIA APRIL. 24th, 2007
For as long as I can remember I have wondered what it would
be like to experience life in a female body, even though I’m quite comfortable
being male and I have never felt any confusion about my gender.
Even when I began noticing same sex attractions and an
erotic interest in some aspects of cross-dressing (lingerie, stockings and
suspenders mainly), I felt little or no threat to my masculine sense of self.
Pleasure is a bigger motivator for me than peer group pressure or social norms,
so I tend to regard the things I like and enjoy as acceptable, even sacred
aspects of life. When I started reading Jungian writers and their ideas of an
‘inner female’ the notion seemed perfectly reasonable to me, and provided even
more impetus to explore these ideas. I mainly did this through ritual and
visualization, and trying to understand the significant women in my life.
I mostly dialogued with my inner female and experienced her
as an entity with whom I could communicate. Through this process I began to
recognise some of my personal aspects and abilities as relating more to this
inner feminine than to my male self. This all seemed pretty seamless, except
when I ritually externalized the inner female to communicate directly with her.
I have also had the experience in ritual space of invoking a Goddess and
feeling her consciousness fill me. These experiences have tended to be more
cerebral than kinesthetic, until recently. A similar, but different experience
has occurred when I have done the ‘Baphomet Rite’, where I have experienced my
consciousness as both male and female. However, recently I have had ritual
experiences where I actually felt my physical body change and become female.
The following is an experience I had a few weeks before Euphoria.
Even though this was the first time we had done ritual alone
together, I felt comfortable enough to ‘play it by ear’ so to speak.
After casting we sat facing each other and began intoning
and invoking and playing with each others energy fields. The sensation was
quite intense and it seemed that Hekate had heeded our call and had opened the
cross roads to allow access to the inner realms. After a while I began seeing
the Baphomet Sigil in the air between us, and the presence of Baphomet began to
grow, until it was quite palpable around us.
Suddenly there was a shift and the energy of the Goddess
Goat filled us both. We fell upon each other in an intense embrace of bodies
and energy fields, kissing deeply, touching each other to the core, writhing in
an ecstasy of reverence and lust.
I felt my energy changing, becoming more female, while she
became more male. I could feel the weight of breasts pulling at my shoulders
and lying upon my chest, my hips broadened and the genital sensations that I
normally feel attached to my groin now also radiated from deep within me. I
could feel my yoni pulsing with anticipation, longing to engulf and be filled!
Suddenly she/he lunges at me, pushing me onto my back, I’m sure s/he would have
forced my legs apart, if I hadn’t already flung them high and wide in
anticipation. Hir crotch pushes against mine and hir hands claw at my breasts.
I wrap my legs around hir and pull hir into me. I can feel the wetness of my
desire flowing from and through my body, hir cock pushes against the wet
opening and I draw it into me with a scream of mingled desire and satisfaction.
S/he plunges in up to the hilt, waits a moment then starts driving in and out.
Feelings of bliss rush through my body, wave after wave building and building,
filling me until there is nothing else in the universe except the ecstasy of
our joining! S/he fucks me and fucks me, for an age, an aeon, an infinity. Hir
hands and hir mouth and hir cock fill my senses, the feelings and emotions are so
intense that I can hardly hold them, and so I let go. Spasms of bliss rock my
body and my soul again and again and again. We scream and shudder together, hir
cock pulsing deep within me filling me with hir essence, as my yoni clenches
and spasms enfolding us in ecstatic waves of bliss!
Something has been seeded, changes are afoot!
After an age my consciousness begins to return, it takes a
while longer before I can stand and balancing on shaking legs we close the
circle and make our way from the Temple.
I WANT JUNE. 12th, 2007
I want to be in sacred space with people who know how to
raise energy and share it with the only restraint being that which contributes
to raising the energy higher and higher. Then BE ‘in’ that state – allowing it
– until the energy feels unbearable and yet bear it we do, until we are able to
expand our capacity for that energy, so that we may continue raising it, again
and again and again until we are all madly intoxicated on the divinely erotic
passion of magick and lust – raised and consumed, but not consummated; so that
even as we feed our desire we yearn for more! Surrendering to our rapture we
expand, deepen and intensify it again and again and again until our ego selves
shatter in an ecstasis of Dyonisian abandon!!!! Surely it is possible to do
this safely, sanely and consensually?
RITUAL INVOKATION OF ANCESTRAL
WITCHCRAFT SPIRITS AUGUST 2nd, 2007
We have done this before and we followed pretty much the
same procedure as before. Laid out the formal 'Circle of Evokation' (our own
design based on classic examples), cast circle, invoked Hekate with whispers
and mutterings, offered a drop of our own blood to the flaming cauldron, then
began circling as we whispered our invitation to the Ancestors of Witchery. The
whispering changed into a wailing lament as we entered trance.
In the previous rite of this type we then interacted quite
closely and intensely, but this time we went into our own places and stayed
apart. I asked my question, but instead of (or in the form of) an answer I was
over come with a devastating sense of despair and hopelessness. We left the
ritual space and went our separate ways without saying much. It was late when I
got home, I went straight to bed and cried myself to sleep (I have never done
that before, ever!)
The next day when I got home from work Sheil said that she
had found an interesting transition occurring in my chart at the moment. When
she read out the explanation of it I was shocked – it was exactly how I was
feeling! It’s not an easy aspect and it’s been going for about two years (which
also fits), and has another two or so to go! I was a bit disheartened to hear
that there is so much more of this energy to experience, but strangely (or
perhaps not) this information actually gave me some hope. This aspect explains
so much that has been going on for me in the past couple of years, and gives me
insight into alternate ways to work with the energies. It will still be hard,
but at least I can now work with it, rather than against.
Funny thing is I have had plenty of intimations and insights
into this energy, but instead of going with it – as I am always preaching to
others – I tried to impose my will on the situation. I some times despair at
how often I seem to have to be hit over the head with the same lesson before I
get it, and then after all the pain of learning I forget it and do it all over
again!
IMBOLG RITUAL AUGUST.
6th, 2007
Even though I got some insight and perspective after the after
the Thursday night ritual I was still feeling pretty down and not at all in the
mood to conduct an open Imbolg ritual.
I often leave preparation for the shop sabbat rituals 'til a
day or two before the ritual. This usually works ok, I’m used to it and the
pressure inspires me, but the mood I was in after Thursday was not at all
conducive to ad lib energy raising. So rather than using what little time I had
to prepare something, I just put the whole thing out of my mind and hoped
no-one would turn up, - I had high hopes as I hadn’t advertised much for this
sabbat.
Needless to say a heap of people turned up (possibly the
most so far) and most of them where people who had never been to one of my
rituals before, so I couldn’t rely on them taking up the slack for me. Luckily
the adrenalin kicked in and I got my act together, and even more luckily plenty
of people got into the drumming and dancing and we raised some good fun energy!
I’ve got to say that I got a lot of help from those people who had been before,
Forest cleared the space, and Linda called the quarters and R (not sure if I
should use your LJ tag with out asking) contributed her fantastic energy as
usual. I’ve got to say that R has been a great support at these shop rituals,
there have been many times when her enthusiastic energy has given the ritual
the lift it needed to take it from a simple ceremony into a meaningfully
energetic ritual experience. Thanks heaps!
As I said in my previous post, Sheils insight into the
astrological energies that are around me at the moment has helped me to feel a
sense of hope, but this Imbolog ritual has made that hope just a bit more real.
RITUAL AUGUST. 26th, 2007
Did ritual with some friends last night. We cast circle, did
a chakra visualisation then invoked and raised energy, we seemed to raise
plenty of energy, but it was very heavy and dense - that just describes the
feel of it, it wasn't bad just ponderous. We then swept each others auras
clean, someone started drumming and we sort of danced around the cauldron. Then
I sat and meditated. In spite of the fact that we had interacted during the
aura sweeping it didn't feel to me as if I really interacted with anyone, and
in fact when I closed my eyes and started to meditate I had no sensation of
anyone else being in the temple space. I quickly went into a state of blissful
communion with emptiness and when I came back I felt almost shocked to see that
there were other people near by! We finished with the loving cup, and suddenly
I felt very sensuous and just wanted to cuddle up with someone and finish the
cup together. If there had been someone there that I had that sort of
relationship with I could have snuggled all night. In spite of eating something
immediately after the ritual and having a snack when I got home I was still
buzzing and didn't feel like there was much point trying to sleep ‘til about 2
am.
EUPHORIA AFTERMATH AND RELATING TO BAPHOMET JUNE.
21st, 2008
I posted these thoughts about relating to Baphomet on the
Euphoria Tribe list, but I thought I’d put it in my LJ as well, even though
most of the people on my F-List are on the Tribe list as well.
I'm still processing, but here are some thoughts I have had
about Baphomet.
From my personal perspective the image of BAPHOMET that we
use, particularly the image manifested by Seline was by no means the full
representation of the deity. BAPHOMET is the name and the image that I use to
access something infinitely greater. For me that image was
something that got the juices flowing and allowed me to
enter an altered state where I could experience a measure of the infinite and
awesome reality behind appearances. I found that while the images we work with
may be finite images of deity, they never-the-less provide
a concept that I can relate to on a personal level. This
level of personal relating allowed me to touch the energy of deity and go
beyond my personal limited view of what that might be. It allowed me to enter a
reality where I could feel and appreciate my connection
with something so vast and mysterious that I cannot and
could not put a name to it.
The sense of connection and rightness that I feel in this
state cannot be described, but it has enriched and sustained me in times where
I have felt that everything else was turning to shit. On the other hand my
relationship with the image of BAPHOMET has been somewhat less than wonderful
of late. I have not been able to connect with this image in a meaningful way,
other than to feel anger and disappointment. I am well aware that this is my
issue and that
my feelings say more about me than they do about BAPHOMET,
nevertheless my feelings were very strong and it did not seem wise to me to
ignore them, so I stayed with that feeling and tried to determine what it meant
for me. Part of the process of reevaluating my relationship with BAPHOMET was
attempting to put aside my participation as a priest in the BAPHOMET ritual.
Part of my anger probably stems from allowing myself to be dragged back into
the role
last year. After last year's BAPHOMET ritual it became
obvious to me that a change was needed, that sense grew as my negative personal
feelings towards the BAPHOMET did.
After last years experience I knew that we needed a new ritual
to symbolise the various changes that had been foreshadowed, including S's
decision to pass on the torch. Another element that I felt needed addressing
was the idea that BAPHOMET does not reside in the image of the priestess that
manifests hir, but is a part of each and every one of us. However due to my
ongoing issues with the image I decided to ask Gavin to write the ritual, this
decision was largely
based on a fragment he had shown me years ago which I
thought had a lot of potential as a ritual performance. I asked Gavin to use
that fragment was the basis of the new BAPHOMET rite.
I have to admit that when I saw the new rite being rehearsed
I was a little concerned, as I perceived that this was much more a theatrical
performance than previous BAPHOMET rites. Although ritual and theatre are
closely related this is not something that has been explored much at Euphoria
(not by me at any rate). Trying to act/model behaviors, actions and spiritual
reality is much harder than creating a sensual – emotional - ritual atmosphere
and then inviting the deity to manifest. I suppose that is one of the reasons
that I liked this new rite - it was doing something which I felt I was not
prepared to or capable of doing at this time. When the ritual was performed I was
amazed at the power and emotion that was generated – not to mention the amazing
manifestations of the 'cone of power' in the cauldron. This amazement was
multiplied during the
debriefing process when I saw many people struggling to come
to terms with the reality, and the artifice of the experience, and getting
quite emotional about it.
I think this ritual opened up a Pandora's box of ideas,
insights and possibilities, and as feminist re-writings of the myth have
demonstrated, the contents of Pandora's box can be seen as blessings as well as
(or rather than) curses, depending on how we relate to them. The ritual asked
us questions that are difficult to hear, let alone answer -
Where does authenticity abide ?
What is the nature of my relationship with sacrifice and
self-
sacrifice?
W hat is my relationship with the image of deity?
To what extent do I relate to the form and to what extent do
I relate
to the substance?
How do I recognise, honour, and invoked the inner deity?
When and/or why do I focus on an external image?
How is it that artifice and pretence can become real, and
reality
become artifice and pretence?
I don't necessarily have answers to these questions, but I
feel that our reactions to the ritual have the potential to tell us more about
ourselves than about the ritual itself. One of the things that I
hoped would arise from this ritual was an increased
awareness that the energy or entity that we call BAPHOMET is in fact part of us
- all of us are BAPHOMET. Part of the ritual was intended to
specifically model and illustrate this concept, however, the
part of the ritual which would have made this intent clear, was forgotten by
the ritualists. Perhaps we all need to grow a bit more than before that idea
can become a reality.
I thought this rite was powerful when I went into trance
after the formal part of the ritual, even though I spent most of the actual
rite, running around behind the scenes sorting out props and
costumes. Sitting and watching the cauldron spiral and
dance, even though there was hardly any movement in the Temple was amazing,
having an hour or more go by in the blink of an eye is another familiar sign
that more is going on between the worlds than just the physical actions. I've
been affected in ways I couldn't have imagined by this rite, like I said at the
start, I'm still processing.
FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT?? [Jul. 25th, 2008|
I've posted this on a couple of lists I'm on, so apologies
you you get this more than once.
The creation and perpetuation of myth is an aspect of culture that I find quite fascinating. I find the ways in which cultures relate to, change and are changed by their myths to be quite magical, and of course myth is a constant source of inspiration for the magical practices of many people, myself included. I find it particularly interesting when mythic themes enter contemporary society and blurs the line between documented fact and popular fiction. Dan Browns books are a classic example of this phenomena, the Late Great Robert Anton Wilson deliberately messed with these concepts, while others such as Carlos Castaneda have caused considerable confusion by writing about things which seem to have little or no basis in the cultures to which they lay claim.
Some of these people may be simple fakers or they may have felt a higher purpose, but I find them all fascinating, especially after reading Robert Anton Wilsons thoughts on the question of authenticity in “The Cosmic Trigger, Vols 1, 2 & 3”. Wilson seems to love the Fakers, and I have to admit to a soft spot myself, even though some of their antics can cause some people pain and irritation. There are some situations when fakery may cause real harm, as in the case of cultural mis-appropriation of the beliefs and practices of indigenous people who have already been exploited to the point of cultural if not actual extinction. However, aside from these cases I find the blurring of boundaries between real and un-real, myth and history and their relationship to authority to be quite fascinating. I was therefore very interested to read the following review of the late Hugh Trevor-Roper's book - 'The Invention of Scotland', it looks like another one to add to the wish list.
The creation and perpetuation of myth is an aspect of culture that I find quite fascinating. I find the ways in which cultures relate to, change and are changed by their myths to be quite magical, and of course myth is a constant source of inspiration for the magical practices of many people, myself included. I find it particularly interesting when mythic themes enter contemporary society and blurs the line between documented fact and popular fiction. Dan Browns books are a classic example of this phenomena, the Late Great Robert Anton Wilson deliberately messed with these concepts, while others such as Carlos Castaneda have caused considerable confusion by writing about things which seem to have little or no basis in the cultures to which they lay claim.
Some of these people may be simple fakers or they may have felt a higher purpose, but I find them all fascinating, especially after reading Robert Anton Wilsons thoughts on the question of authenticity in “The Cosmic Trigger, Vols 1, 2 & 3”. Wilson seems to love the Fakers, and I have to admit to a soft spot myself, even though some of their antics can cause some people pain and irritation. There are some situations when fakery may cause real harm, as in the case of cultural mis-appropriation of the beliefs and practices of indigenous people who have already been exploited to the point of cultural if not actual extinction. However, aside from these cases I find the blurring of boundaries between real and un-real, myth and history and their relationship to authority to be quite fascinating. I was therefore very interested to read the following review of the late Hugh Trevor-Roper's book - 'The Invention of Scotland', it looks like another one to add to the wish list.
LATE THOUGHTS ON FAITH [Mar. 25th, 2009
I meant to post this ages ago, but I got side tracked and
forgot, but I suppose it is not too late to do it now.
A few moths ago it seemed that heaps of people were having a
crisis of faith I don't really get that, nor do I get the other pagans who seem
to feel hurt, threatened or let down by those who have lost or changed their
faith.
It is not that my faith is so 'strong' that it is immune to
doubt. Quite the opposite: my practice of paganism is based upon personal
'mystical' experience, but unlike many people who write about these things I am
filled not with certainty by these experiences, but with an overwhelming sense
of how little I can ever hope to understand of these GREAT MYSTERIES.
I don't know why, but this makes me feel very optimistic and
joyful when ever I contemplate or experience it. Doubt becomes a positive thing
in my world, something that not only leaves room for, but positively exalts in
mystery and surprise! The only thing I'm really sure of, is that I'm not sure
of anything, the sense of freedom and potential in this is awesome it makes me
want to dance and giggle madly, oh and cuddle, especially cuddle, don't ask me
why, its a Mystery!!!!!
ETA - A few hours after posting this I was watching The New
Inventors on ABC (Australia)T.V. When the host signs off he gives a quote from
someone, tonight's was from Van Gough, I can't remember it exactly but it went
something like this - "Me - I know nothing, but when I look at the stars I
dream" Gotta luv synchronicity!!
AUTHENTICITY?? MARCH 26
Back in 1980, when I first made contact with other pagans,
witches and magicians, the concept of ‘authenticity’ was embodied in the notion
of 'genuine lineage', if you didn't have that you were nothing! I was so
convinced of this presumption that I would not even read the few 'how to' books
that were available at the time, because I only wanted the 'real' thing! That
attitude lasted until I experienced my very first ritual with 'authentic'
witches.
I won't go into details, but that was one of the most disappointing
experiences of my life! I left the coven-stead dejected, and returned to the
friends house where my partner and I were spending the weekend. They could see
immediately that I was gutted, so they offered to do a ritual to cheer me up
the next night. My friends and my partner were all practicing magicians, and up
'til that point I had declined their offers to participate in ritual because,
they were magicians , not witches, and I wanted to be a witch! Also they were
not initiated into any recognised lodge, and I didn’t want to dilute my first
experience of ‘real’ witch magick, by doing something ‘inauthentic’. I would
cringe to think how naive I was then, but the truth is I can still be naive,
I've just learned live with it!
The ritual we did was awesome!! At one point as I called in
the fire element, the little camp fire that we were working around leapt up and
surrounded me entirely in flames, but aside from a few singed hairs on my arms
and eyebrows, I was not burned at all. That ritual set the course of my
subsequent adventures in the occult world, no longer was I interested in titles
and affiliations, energy and effect became the final arbiters of authenticity
for me.
